Working with Inner Protectors
Image by Anahata Giri: Embracing our conditioning, finding wholeness
The Ten Thousand Idiots
It is always a danger
To aspirants on the Path
When they begin
To believe and act
As if the ten thousand idiots
Who so long ruled and lived inside
Have all packed their bags
And skipped town
Or
Died.
~Hafiz
The soul holds the seeds of our unlived life and is delighted in our efforts to live from the magnificence, beauty, wildness and vulnerability of our authentic self. Yet one of the most persistent obstacles to living from our soul centre, is the strong resistance from the conditioned part of our own psyche. This conditioning emerges in the psyche through inner protectors or parts, such as the inner critic as a common example. An inner protector has its own narrative, based on limiting beliefs and behaviours that coalesce around an inner identity. We will explore here how to befriend our inner protectors so we can reclaim our wholeness and continue to walk our deepest path.
A brief mention here that other names for inner protectors include ‘parts’ from the internal family systems approach, ‘loyal soldiers’ from Bill Plotkin’s work or the psychological term ‘subpersonalities’. Hafiz refers above to the ‘idiots’ inside, a humorous take, though there is deep intelligence in these parts of our psyche. I like the way the term ‘inner protectors’ honours the role of protecting the fragile psyche of the child. Acknowledgements here to Bill Plotkin’s highly recommended book Wild Mind, an in-depth exploration of working with inner protectors.
Bill Plotkin suggests that each inner protector is born around age two or three, before the ego is fully developed. The protector’s role is to protect the young child’s psychological and physical survival and wellbeing, in response to the challenges of childhood, including harmful or dysfunctional behaviour from parents or others. With the beliefs and behaviours of the inner protector emerging in formative years, they are deeply imprinted in the child’s psyche.
A child’s inner protector has determination, courage, intelligence and often remarkable ingenuity, as it draws on survival strategies to keep the self or psyche of the child protected. However, the cost of these conditioned strategies is that they keep us small, invisible, or visible only in ways that please those around us. There is a repression of the fullness of our deepest, wildest self, in response to the messages, demands and the overall conditioning received from those closest to us in our childhood. We might learn to keep quiet, withdraw, hide our needs and wants, be good, be loud, be rebellious, be in control or a myriad of other coping strategies. The inner protector becomes the inner controller of our psyche, so that the magnificence and vulnerability of our inner child and our authentic self is hidden, protected and not emotionally or psychologically crushed by others.
“…you made that pact
with a dark presence
in your life.
He said, “If you only
stop singing
I’ll make you safe.”
- David Whyte
As we grow older, these childhood survival strategies become adulthood survival strategies. These survival strategies are so engrained that initially we may not be aware of their existence. These survival strategies can prevent healing the original childhood wounding and can also themselves become stubborn obstacles on our path of growth.
Bill Plotkin’s framework of inner protector archetypes, uses the framework of four directions (adapted here for the southern hemisphere). The inner protectors of the South keep us safe by getting us to act small and within tight roles. They are the loyal soldiers and include: the inner critic, controller, perfectionist, rescuer, pleaser and so on. The inner protectors of the North are wounded children attempting to get needs met with immature, emotionally-fuelled strategies. These include the victim, rebel, conformist, prince or princess. The East inner protectors are escapists and keep us safe through avoiding emotions and responsibilities. These include the eternal boy or girl, dreamer, addict. The West holds our shadow selves who try and protect us by repressing characteristics that are unacceptable to the ego.
Another system that maps out inner protector archetypes is the Enneagram system. This is a brief overview, useful if you are familiar with this system.
Enneagram Type 1: Inner Critic / Perfectionist / Controller
Enneagram Type 2: People Pleaser / Helper
Enneagram Type 3: Image Protector / Pretender
Enneagram Type 4: Victim / Drama Queen
Enneagram Type 5: Overthinker / Loner / Outsider
Enneagram Type 6: Doubter / Suspicious One
Enneagram Type 7: Escapist / Addict
Enneagram Type 8: Rebel / Bully / Pushy One
Enneagram Type 9: Peacemaker / Martyr / Avoider
A generic archetype is a useful starting point but we can easily make assumptions when using a generic archetype. As a soul guide, I see how powerful it is when individuals discover the unique attributes of their own specific protector. To fully see the unique character of a specific protector, even perhaps creating a unique name for that protector, inspires deep connection, compassion, discovery, curiosity, insight and often a playful quality to this self-investigation.
Two Practices for Working with Our Inner Protectors
Our aim is to recognise, name, honour and give thanks to the role the inner protector has in our lives. Bringing our loving, welcoming awareness to the inner protector helps bring habituated behaviour to light, so that the integrated self can make new choices.
These practices can be done on your own, or with a trusted listener.
Practice 1: Limiting Beliefs - Stream of Consciousness Writing
Limiting beliefs are at the core of the strategies and behaviours used by an inner protector. This is a powerful practice, possibly life-changing, revolving around the question: What are the limiting beliefs that have guided your life until now? Have faith that uncovering limiting beliefs is a crucial step for reclaiming empowering ones.
Step 1: What are the limiting beliefs that have played out in your life (both as child and adult), to this point? Write freely, without stopping or overthinking. Use these journal prompts: I must…I must not… You can also use: I am…I am not… Write a long list, without reflecting or rereading yet, just keep writing. You will know you have finished when you feel that you have expressed them all.
As an example, some of mine are: I must be good, I must be quiet, I must be neat, I must not say what I really think, I must not be expressive…and so on.
Take your time with this. This might take a few days or even weeks. Complete Step 1 before going to Step 2.
Step 2: Choose one core belief to work with
Now look over your long list. Circle or highlight ones that feel most potent, that land deeply inside you. See if you can narrow this list down to the 3-5 most influential limiting beliefs. Then choose one belief that feels most resonant right now, to work with in the next step.
Step 3: From core belief to behaviours and protectors
Choose one core belief to work with. Journal or contemplate: what behaviours or ways of being arise from that core belief? Write freely. This one core belief and its related behaviours will underly one (or more) inner protectors. Now contemplate, what inner protector archetype matches your core beliefs and behaviours? What name best fits this inner protector? Be gentle with yourself as you recognise, grieve, honour and respect all that you did to protect your self.
For example, when I returned and reviewed my list, this core belief set me crying: I must hide. In a flash I could see how much that belief has coloured my life and all the coping strategies that arise from that belief. Some time later I worked with another core belief, a variation on hiding: I am invisible. I could see how these beliefs and behaviours are at the core of my inner protectors including the controller, the self critic and especially The Hiding One.
Practice 2 Getting to Know Your Inner Protector - Guided Meditation with Journalling
A reminder that the aim of this practice is not to remove the inner protector. Rather, you choose one inner protector that you want to get to know deeply, so that you can negotiate an empowering relationship with that inner protector.
You can use the Getting to Know Your Inner Protector Guided Meditation recording for this practice. You will have a dialogue with your inner protector and journal your experience. I have written the questions from the meditation here, for your ongoing exploration.
What does the inner protector say and do?
What does the inner protector believe?
What is the experience of your protector?
How does the protector feel in your body?
What role does your inner protector have in you life?
What does the inner protector want for you?
When did this inner protector first appear in your life?
In what circumstances does the inner protector show up?
What is the inner protector afraid of or trying to avoid?
From the point of view of the inner protector, would be the worst thing to happen to you?
What are you grateful for in this protector?
What agreements would you like to make with your inner protector?
What self-designed ceremony could you do to symbolise your new relationship with your inner protector?
Conditioning remans imprisoning, until we bring our kind and compassionate awareness to it. When we befriend our inner protectors, we see the ways they hold us back, but we are often surprised to discover their gifts. Even the most harsh inner protector is wanting to protect us. For example, working with my inner protector, The Hiding One, was initially very painful as I slowly unravelled the cost of hiding, including a lack of voice and agency; not being seen or mirrored, leading to a diminished sense of self. Yet in that process of hiding, of being invisible - I would watch, see, perceive, listen and trust my own inner experience. As I see the world through the eyes of the Hiding One, I can see she helps me draw on a deep well of perception. I thank her for that - and let her know that I will take the next steps of visibility, expression, leadership and so on. Befriending my inner protectors has been a process of moving through pain and grief, to uncover a playful and compassionate relationship with this part of myself.
Work with our inner protectors is ongoing, probably for the rest of our lives. As we listen and love these conditioned parts of ourselves, the role of our inner protectors shifts dramatically. We can have an insightful, even tender and playful relationship with these parts of ourselves and collaborate with them. Then our inner protectors can walk beside us as we step into our soulful magnificence.
Acknowledgements to Bill Plotkin’s Wild Mind.
Anahata Giri www.soulriver.com.au
May 2024